And now for something completely different

Oh do I have a doozy for you guys...but be patient. Good things come to those who wait.

So I guess you can tell I did some ar-tist-ing. Gotta shake things up a little bit.

On a less lighter side, New Englands football season is possibly hanging by a thread after an injury to Tom Brady's left knee at about the 1/8th mark of the first game. So right now Tom Terrific* has played roughly 1/152 of the season and we don't know if the remaining 144/152 of the season will have ol' number 12 or Matt Cassel who to his credit played like a superstar at some points of the game. Take a deep breath everyone, this one could leave a mark.

Do you ever wonder if people that get nicknames like that actually like them? Does Tom lie in bed at night thinking "Tom Terrific is good, but I think of myself more as a Tom Tremundus, or how about Touchdown Tom" These are the toughts I have people.

So 1 week at Commonwealth VW down. So far its been pretty slow. I got a good idea of my escape routes in case of a fire. I think however now I made the right move. Potential for much more volume, which means much more $$$ (cha ching! - sound effects are part of the experience at TKS. Be sure to tip your waitresses) The drive hasn't been that bad, but winters coming. It's pretty much the same drive just going in the oppisite direction. People have been good. Just scarey going from what is normal and comfortable to something that is the unknown.

Peace out lake trouts

Jimi

Its like christmas...

Original Post date 6/30/2008

I was checking my inventory and was aghast to find what we had here. I NEVER posted my Happy Dave Day blog. In light of recent events, I toyed of just deleting it, but rightly decided against it as much of a tribute to Leroi as well as not wanting to waste several backbreaking hours of research for this blog posting. That makes me wonder if I can somehow write off my ticket costs as research funds. More on screwing the IRS later. Kidding, just kidding. I would never dream of not fulfilling my obligation as an American citizen and not paying taxes. Or are I?



Now without further ado and nearly 2 1/2 months late...



So yesterday was Dave day. That is the day every year where my group of 28-34 year old friends act like kids on Christmas morning. So without further ado, I give you my complete review of all things Dave yesterday.



First and foremost, let me say that every year I hate Mansfield/Great Woods/Tweeter/Comcast/enter new corporate sponsorship here Center a little bit more. I know that its always a few bad apples blah blah blah, but we have always been able to get in early afternoon start grilling and get our drink on. Well this year we get there around 3:30 because of rumors of a 4:00 gate opening time. Good thing we waited a little bit because rumor was true. We had to cruise around until 4:00 to get in the gate.

Once inside, BAM. 5-0 on bike patrol. NO BEERS ALLOWED!* So this year the seemingly "out of sight..."attitude no longer applies. Any alcohol found anywhere, in solo cups, in cans, in a puddle on the ground, all coolers will be searched and seized. Happy Dave Day.

*Just a quick random thought here. When I was a kid growing up, my brother and I used to love watching cartoons of all sorts. Some of my favorite were the Charlie Brown cartoons. 1 in paticular was when Snoopy was trying to get to the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm. The MAN was always putting him down because everytime he wanted to call a cab,** or catch a bus or hitch hike or whatever there was a sign and a very deep voice saying "No Dogs Allowed!" So now whenever the MAN is trying to put me down, I think about Snoopy and forget whatever it was I was upset about.

**Is it me, or was Snoopy the most human like dog in existance. That dog could do more things than I can do. He was a star baseball player, he was the Flying Ace in WWI beating the Red Baron, he was a master organizer. I mean really, how much stuff could he really have in that dog house?


Well I am friends with a bunch of hard core drunkies and the thought of a little buzz kill like getting kicked off of the property and missing the show or jail would not stop the itchy livers we brought with us.*

*No secrets will be revealed as this is a public blog and a certain group of law enforcement officials in a certain southeastern Mass. town may someday access this site looking for god knows what. P.S. All names have been changed to protect the guilty. From now on my wife will be known as Hector.

Well after a shortened grilling session, we decided to proceed into the show. Thats where the magic happens.



Don't Drink the Water

Good song to start off the night with. Pretty much everybody knows whats going on. The whole band is involved. No complaints.


#41

"Since it was the fourty first song we wrote, it is aptly titled #41" I love this song. Really great poetry and great everyday outro at the end that the crowd took over on.

Crash into Me


Three early songs in a row. The band is really grooving tonight. Very nice Dixie Chicken outro.


Lousianna Bayou

I think that this is one of my top 5 Dave songs live. They get so into it and it gets the whole crowd going.

Loving Wings

If Hector and I ever get married, this will be our wedding song. Such a treat to hear tonight.

Cornbread


"I wanna go down on you...I wanna go down on you..." Dave you're so dirty;)

Jimi Thing


This is the song of the night that I called. The Dave started talking bout how good we all smelt so I figured he was gonna sing us a song bout gettiing high. I was right. Probably would have been best song of the night, but you must read on.

Money

Have I told anybody how much I love it when Dave covers songs. Well I do. Some bands cover songs and you're like "ok well whatever" Dave covers a song and now whenever I hear the song on the radio, I need to turn it because its not Dave playing. I'm not sure this is one of those, but very cool nontheless.




I am not so famailar with this song, so I kinda sit back and take it in. Has a very Eddie Vedder/Last Kiss sound. I dig it.

The Idea of You


I think this could be the next great Dave love song along the lines of Crush.

Where Are You Going


Honestly, I could do without this song live. I've heard it. It really feels like its taking up space that could be used for a song I haven't heard in a while.

Seek Up


Seriously. I love this effing song. This is the Dave song that made me realize so much more. Great long intro. Total Jam. Great long outro. Like 18 and a half minutes. Just incredible. Still not the best song of the night. Stay tuned.

Two Step

I get the vibe that the show is starting to wind down, which sucks because I always want Dave to play until the sun rises. However Dave played this song like it was the last song they were ever going to play. Absolutely fantastic.*

*By this time, it has become apperant to me of 3 things. 1) The show is winding down. It is now encore break. B) I am pissed at the cops because I don't have nearly the buzz I should at a Dave show. D) I am much too old to do this goddamn lawn thing anymore.** I am spending money on pavillion seats next year, no questions asked.
** I am also spending the extra $$ on premier parking. I am sick of having to wait until 1 am to get driving and coming home. I didn't get home until 3 am and I had to work the next day. WTF over.***
***What happens when everybody catches on to the premier parking thing. Are they gonna have Super Premier Parking for $80 instead of $40?

Sister

This was alright. I really have no connection to this song not having a sister and all. It was quite humorous watching the Wastys dancing and making up their own lyrics.

Thank You (fallettenme be mice elf, agin)

I did not know what was going on with this song, but let me tell you. This song was effing amazing. I am not sure I have seen anything like that or this.

Until next year Happy Dave Day.

Good memories...

I was terribly saddened by the news of Leroi Moore's passing. As most of you know, I am a borderline rabid Dave Matthews Band fan. No take that back. I have passed the line. I am rabid. I have almost sworn off all other music other than that of the Dave. I refer to the entire band as the Dave. When you talk about them as much as I do, it just saves time. Anyways when I got on the official DMB website last night to check the setlist, it hit me like a freight train. I was shocked. I called Annie over so she could verify what I was reading. I went looking for my phone to call people. It was like one of the family had died. My friend Cyn had not called me. This was big. She must not know. Telling her Leroi was gone was like telling her one of our near and dear friends was gone. She started crying. I started tearing up. All these crazy thoughts came to me. Are they now gonna break up? If they stay together, will they replace him? Did they still play tonight? To their credit and a fitting tribute to their friend and brother they played on. They played a setlist that is reportedly filled with Leroi's favorites. I love the music. I will always refer to them as the Fab 5. Heaven must have needed a horn player. God knows he got the best. RIP Leroi. We WILL forever miss you.

Saddened by life sometimes,
Jimi

Ch Ch Changes

So its been a while cyber fellas. Keeping up with the blog has been very difficult. Everything I see, I say to myself "oh, I could blog about that" Alas I never do. Well sometimes I don't. Sometimes I do. Well there has been alot happening here lately. Annie is trying to seek gainful employment for the school season. My friend George from work is leaving to take a new job at a dealership far south from us. I am very disappointed only for selfish reasons. George and his family have become best friends with my family. Having George work with me has been really fun for the past 3 years...on and off. I wish him well in his new/old endevor.

Well I decided to keep the earlier part of this post together, even though it is roughly 3 weeks old and I haven't updated it, because it suddenly is very relevent to whats going on in the land of Jim. I too have decided to leave my post at Lakes Region VW and have joined George in Mass at Commonwealth Motors. I have cherished my time in Gilford. It has afforded me the ability to pursue this job in Lawerence that even though there will be quite a commute involved, I think will in the long run be better for my family and my bank account. Actually the commute is only approx 10 miles further, although I assume with traffic it will probably be about 30 mins each way longer.

I guess the really scary part of all this is that I am starting a new job. No wait. Thats not the scary part. The scary part is that I have never given a 2 week notice anywhere. This was the first time ever. I usually either get fired (only once or twice) or just say "eff it" and just not show again (maybe a little more often than is called for) or just get squeezed out (oddly the way I have most often lost employment). Anyway, Lakes Region has been very good to me in the 6+ years I have worked there so I really needed to give 2 weeks. I suddenly feel like a lame duck. Kinda like Clinton in 99-2000 minus the BJ's from the office girls (yikes where'd that come from?) Well now I know what playing for the Kansas City Royals is all about. Just playing out the string.

Well suddenly Aug 15 has come and gone and I am now on the back side of 30 years old. It really doesn't feel any different. My pants still go on 1 leg at a time. Just a few more gray hairs and a sudden realization that all the advice my father gave me through the years will now need to be dispensed to my ever growing 4 year old. I am really looking forward to the cars/girls conversations as opposed to the spongebob/remote losing conversations.

I promise I will do a better job of leaving this rubbish for people to read more often.

Until then, peace out girl scouts

Jimi

5 to 1

I have decided to kill some time and give an obnoxious amount of top 5's that I'm calling 5 to 1. So here goes

Top 5 Doors songs
5. 20th Century Fox Like it cause its a kool play on words.

4. The End I loved this song long before I saw Apoclypse Now. Just a kool trip through somebodys dimensia.

3. Light My Fire How can you not like this song if you like The Doors at all.

2. 5 to 1 The inspiration for the format of this paticular blog. The name of the song is the chance of coming back from Vietnam unharmed, but no matter what you're screwed. "5 to 1, 1 in 5. No one gets out alive"

1. LA Woman I firmly believe that Annie and I are the only people I know that actually like The Doors. This song is just good rock n' roll. I would say most people that I ask hate The Doors because of Ray Manzerik playing the keyboards for the bass line.

Top 5 former Red Sox jerseys that I would like to own

5. 1986 23 Oil Can Boyd The Can is probably the greatest nickname in Red Sox history

4. 1975 19 Fred Lynn I wasn't around for this era, but I bet that if I was, Fred Lynn would have been my favorite player

3. 2003 11 Bill Mueller This guy was a pro's pro. He came to work almost everyday he didn't have to share playing time with Shea Hillnebrand. He batted 8th in the lineup. He won the fricking batting title. In Theo I trust

2. 1939 9 Ted Williams The greatest player in team history. Nuff said.

1. 1999 34 Rich Garces The second greatest nickname in team history. How could you not love El Guapo

Top 5 Dave Matthews Band songs to hear live

5. So Much to Say>Anyone seen the Bridge>Too Much I love both of the "much" songs ecspically when they throw the little ditty in between

4. Tripping Billies Such a crowd pleaser. A great way to end a night with Dave and the boys.

3. One Sweet World I love the way they have added to trumpet to this song. Has totally moved up the list of most desired songs to hear live.

2. All Along the Watchtower I can not tell you how much I love this song when The Dave plays it except that when I hear another version come on the radio, I turn it.

1. Dancing Nancies>Warehouse Pretty Much why I love The Dave. I have heard this 1 time at Fenway. Maybe top 5 moment of my life. I know its sad.

(Honorable Mention:Ants Marching, Seek Up, Say Goodbye, Lie in our Graves, Louisiana Bayou)

Top 5 TV shows from the 80's that I haven't been able to watch in a long time
5. Cheers Cheers used to be on every channel all the time. Now its more like a rumor.

4. MacGyver True story. When I was in 4th grade, my friend Matt and I tried to write Richard Dean Anderson and see if we could hang out with him for a day. I look back on this and think what was I thinking. Then I watch MacGyver and laugh.

3. Dukes of Hazzard Would have been 1 with a bullet except a little run on CMT about 5 years ago.

2. ALF I loved this show. I still know that the cats name is Lucky. He was from Melmac. Why isn't there a Boomerang channel for shows from the 80's. Isn't that what TVLand is for. How come they never let me choose the shows they show. Jerks

1. Mr. Belvedere I don't remember much, except that Bob Uecker was the dad, and he was a sportscaster for a tv station in Pittsburgh? How is it that he was able to afford and english butler on that salary?

Top 5 places I want to go that I have never been to

5. The Virgin Islands "When I get done with them, they'll just call them The Islands." Chuck Norris

4. Japan/China I love Sony too much not to go.

3. PCH Drive This is more like an adventure but I have always wanted to take a month and drive up or down the west coast.

2. Ireland/England I think I still have free room and board if we can get there in time.

1. New Zealand I want to go somewhere new where up was down, summer was winter, and people drive on the wrong side of the road. I've already been to Mass.

Top 5 ways to get pizza

5. Meat Lovers Besides my wife, who doesn't love the meat. (Ha Ha. Very funny. My wife if a vegiterian. Jerks)

4. Peperoini Just in case you need to spice up cheese a little bit.

3. Cheese Just in case you need to spice down peperoini a little bit.

2. Chicken and Brocolli Must have as a white pizza. Sauce makes it taste yucky.

1. Bacon and Pineapple Yes I am that guy who eats pineapple on pizza. And you know what? I love it.

Top 5 sodas that I dislike the most

5. Crystal Pepsi This illfated attempt at making a clear soda (something to compete with Sprite?) was about as bad as it sounds. I of course had at least 6 of these liquid asses.

4. Caffene Free Mountain Dew Should be called Mountan Don't.

3. Moxie Reminds me of my younger days when I used to drink mud puddles.

2. Diet Pepsi Jazz Seriously, what is the deal with adding flavor to colas. Isn't cola flavor enough.
1. Bubbulious Soda From the files of worst older brother ever, I one time made my younger brother buy a bottle of this flavor of nausea because I wanted to try it. Needless to say I was very happy that I could wash the nasty taste of pink soda out of my mouth with a crisp refreshing bottle of Pepsi.

Whats up peeps?

I know I've been slacking. I can't even call it being busy. I've actually been lazy. I have several unfinished posts coming out very soon. I have to do some finishing touches on them and I will meet my adoring publics outcry for more nonsense. Until then I bid you adeau.

they tell me me seat cusion can be used as a floatation device/pray to god they aint lying

So I am flying to Ontario California Monday morning at the ass crack of dawn. My flight takes off at 6 am from Manchester. I land in Ontario at 2pm their time which for all you math majors out there is 5 pm NH time. That my friends is 11 hours of travel for some VW thing that was cool last year and gets me out of work for 3 days this year, but I'm wondering is it worth it?

Last year, I ended up in the national finals which were held in Ontario. The first round of "testing" was held in Atlanta in August. It was 100*F when I got off the plane. Man that was effing hot. This year, I have to fly across the country for same first round. Me thinks that I would rather go back to Atlanta this time but I digress.

I guess what worries me when I go to places unfamiliar is that fear of the unknown. What if theres an earthquake and LA falls off into the ocean? Does that meat that the Celtics automaticly get game 5 and the championship because the Staples Center is floating somewhere near the Mexican coast?

Last year I flew to Cali on 9/11. Now I'm not a doomsdayer kinda guy, but I couldn't help but notice it was a little creepy to fly that day. I suppose that probably would be the best day all year to fly due to the tragic date, but it still came into my head as weird.

What it really comes down to is I am not a fan of planes. I know they say it's the safest way to travel, but it's still a little scary. I am not a religous man, but I pray to something when that bird takes off and lands. I don't think that there is anybody who really likes plane rides. Maybe the pilots do. I'm pretty sure flight attendents don't. They are pissed all the time. Don't ask for extra cream in your coffee, the may throw it at you.

So as I finish up, wish me luck and in the words of the band moe. song plane crash "...they tell me my seat cushion can be used as a floatation device/pray to god they ain't lying.." Only problem is, I'm going across land.

Hello all. It's me.

Greetings.



It's been a while since I just sorta rambled so here goes.



I have decided as I approach my dirty thirty that I really enjoy cooking. My favorite show on YumTV (Food Network) is Good Eats. Alton knows how to bring home cooking home. I also think that Giadda is the hottest thing on TV. Man, she could give me some everyday Italian everyday. Back to Alton. He makes cooking fun, which is what the issue with cooking has always been for me. I never enjoyed cooking. I really now enjoy putting meals together whether its on the grille or baking cookies. I don't know if its age, maturation, incresed patience or the love of it I never knew until recently.



I juste watched Coco get tackled and pummeled by about 5 Devil Rays. I don't care what the uniform says, They're still the Devil Rays to me. Anyway, Coco got ejected, the Rays pitcher got ejected. After watching the replay, I am sure that some lofty suspensions will be handed down because he got sucker punched by like 5 different guys under there.



Now I just watched the phenom bust up his wrist making another highlight reel catch. Man I hope that doesn't kill them. Youk is playing right field right now.


I tried not to make this a sports blog, but man I just love sports. Baseball has been my passion for as long as I can remember. Well actually that was 1987. That was the year that I first started watching my beloved Red Sox on a regular basis and really understood it. As any young kid growing up in New England, I thought that Roger Clemens was a god. Had I known that he was luring 15 year olds into his hotel room, I may have thought different. I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that now I feel like I love more than just baseball. I've done my best to try to stay up and watch the NBA playoffs. I really have to ask what the NBA has against the east coast. Come on really 9:00 start time. How do you expect to grow a fan base of younger kids when the games are getting over when they are getting up to go to school. Baseball are you reading too. Your just as much to blame with your playoffs. Why can't there be 1 game that starts in the afternoon or early evening for us eastcoasters. The pregame stuff starts after bed time for most kids I know. All I'm saying is equal times for each coast. Good thing the Lakers aren't in Hawaii or tipoff wouldn't be until midnight east coast time.

So my mom went to see the old brawl game. I called her afterwards to see how it went. She was telling me she had to go because she had to get in the car. So I asked "Mom where did you park the car?" Thats right, she pahked the cah in Haved Yahd. Only Ma Bell.

I slowly have become a fan of the text messaging. I was slow to respond but after a little while, I've come around. It's great because it is very non intrusive. If somebody sends you a text, just check it and nod, or shake your head or smile or do whatever you want. And how many times do you want to have a conversation without talking. Yeah me too. Just drop a line and be on your way. But no picture messages. I still have to pay for those bitches.

My best friend from high school asked me to be in his wedding and I graciously accpeted. This is the first wedding I will have been in and am really looking forward to it. I have heard a range of reaction from "congratulations" to "Ahh I've been in so many weddings, I wouldn't do it again". Well the congrats shouldn't go to me, but to my friend who finally is making an honest woman out of his signifigant other. I'm very happy for them and extremely honored that he would ask me, although if the tables were turned he would be at the top of the list of people that I would want in my wedding party. Maybe someday.

So I'm going to Cali in a week and a half. It's this volkswagen thing that I did last year that I'm doing again this year. It's hard to explain. Its like a role playing to see how well I know how to do my job. I do know how to do my job pretty well. Anyway, they always set us up pretty well at any Volkswagen event. Nice hotel, Great food, warm weather, maybe win a trip to The Carabiean. Hopefully, we'll see.

The carabien is one of those words that is pronounced 2 ways and I never know which is right. Is it Ka-rib-e-n or Cara-bein? Anyway its damned nice or so I've been told.

Then and now is something Pat and I started doing at the Mets game we went to. Some of these are painfully uninspired. I really have few options on some of them. Here goes...

Angels

1973 Nolan Ryan 30 How can you really go wrong. He broke Koufaxs' strikeout record that season.

2008 Vlad 24 Maybe I could get some pine tar stains on it somewhere like his helmet

A's

1974 Catfish Hunter 27 Bright yellow. Always go for the tackiness.

2008 ??? Is there anyone to choose? Maybe Daric Barton with one of those black ones from tonight.

Astros

1988 Craig Biggio 7 They look like superhero tops. The pants had the number on the right leg. Like a 13 on the bad uniform scale. Perfect

2008 Lance Berkman 17 The last of the Killer B's.

Blue Jays

1986 Tony Fernandez 1 The road jersey is a powder blue.

2008 Doc Halladay He is a horse.

Braves

1974 Hank Aaron 44 Great 70's blue and white road uni. Real all time home run king.

2008 Brian McCann 7

Brewers

1987 Robin Yount 19 Nice pinstipe with royalblue/yellow base colors.

2008 Ben Sheets 15

Cards

1943 Stan Musial 6

2008 Albert Pujols 5

Cubbies

1964 Ernie Banks 14 Mr. Cub

2008 Koiske Fukudome 1 Fuk u do me. I love it.

D Backs

2001 Randy Johnson 51

2008 Brandon Webb 38

Dodgers

1947 Jackie Robinson 42 If I was a player in any other sport, I would wear 42 because of Jackie.

2008 Russell Martin 55 New breed of good young catchers.

Expos/Nats

1981 Andre Dawson 8 The Hawk

2008 Ryan Zimmerman 11 Only real bright spot for Nats

Giants

1965 Willie Mays 24

2008 Tim Lincecum. Bet you thought I was gonna say Zito didn't you. No neither did I.

Indians


1974 Frank Robinson 20 I know, I know Robinson was player/manager but he was the best player on the team. Besides the alt home uni is a horrible red color. Priceless


2008 Grady Sizemore 24 If I was a chick, I might be one of Grady's Ladies, but I'm not so I will leave it at him being a great leadoff hitter.

Mariners

1989 Ken Griffey Jr. 24 I know there were some older Mariners unis that were far more hideous with the pitchfork M, but I just don't think of Alvin Dark that way. Griffey was the best player that that franchise had or will have again. Thats what I think. I know Arod played there and Randy Johnson but really who can truley like Arod in Seattle. They hate him more than Red Sox fans do. And with Johnson, you would have to spend extra $$$ for the hat and matching mullet.

2008 Ichrio 51 It is so cool to have 1 name. Ichrio, Madonna, Prince. Maybe not so much, but Ichrio is the man.

Marlins

2003 Josh Beckett 21 Josh was the man then and is the man now.


2008 Hanley Ramirez 2 What could have been Red Sox fans, what could have been.


Mets
1986 Lenny Dysktra 4 Complete with the chaw stains on front

2007 David Wright 5 Has taken over as the best infeilder in any of the 5 boroughs.


O's

1983 Cal Ripken Jr. 8 I love Cal. I tried to get my sons middle name to be Ripken.


2008 Nick Markakis 21

Padres

1978 Ozzie Smith 1 Maybe the ugliest uni ever. TKS Hall of famer.

2008 Jake Peavy 44

Phils

1980 Mike Schmidt 20 Again with the powder blues


2008 Chase Utley 26 If Bush likes him...



Pirates

1979 Willie Stargell Yellow shirts. Would need the matching hat also. I would look like I delivered pizza or something.

2008 Jason Bay 38

Rangers

1982 Buddy Bell Yeah thats right paying homage where its due.

2008 Josh Hamilton 38 Only 1 story better than his this year (Think cancer patient and no hitter)

Rays

2004 Scott Kazmir 23 Not much to go for here. Probably the only 1 on the list who could get listed twice.

2008 Evan Longoria 3 This kid is a stud. He will be big time very soon. Besides, I don't want to cheat anyone out because I got lazy and listed Kazmir twice. I am like Volkswagen. I give the people vhat day vant. Das Auto.

Reds

1975 Johnny Bench 5 I had a hard time deciding on this pick for 2 reasons. First, this was the team that beat the Sox in the world series. Second, it would be Pete Rose were it not for his love of the ponies and by ponies I mean betting on his own team. Anyway, Bench was an amazing catcher.

2008 I'm holding out for that center fielder they're bringing up later this year, Jay Bruce. Although props to my man Bronson even though the NL found out you were very hittable.

Red Sox

1998 Rich Garces 34 It would be weird to see now but once upon a time ago Big Papi used to be El Gaupo.

2008 Jacoby Ellsbury 46 The kid is money.

Rockies

1994 Larry Walker 38 I think the Purple jersey

2008 Matt Holiday 5

Royals

1980 George Brett 5 Serious run at .400 and ...yep you guessed it...powder blues!

2008 Not much to choose from. Stay tuned maybe something changes.

Tigers

1984 Kirk Gibson 23 Olde English D

2008 Justin Verlander 38

Twins

1985 Tom Brunansky As much for that catch for the Sox in 1990 than anything else

2008 Joe Mauer 7 As long as I get the matching side burns

White Sox

1983 Pudge Fisk 72 Too bad he didn't play there when they had the softball unis.

2008 Nick Swisher 33

Yankees

1939 Lou Gerhig 4

2008 Not in a million years

Alright people...

Just a few thoughts for all of you who have been patiently waiting...

1. Went to New York last weekend to see my brother. Just me and the boy for 5 days. Mom stayed home. I realized he really does like me when she isn't around. Who knew?

2. While in New York, went to the city to see a Mets game. Now I have a desire to go to as many ballparks as possible before I pass on. I have been to the Fens several times, Baltimore 1 time, old Vets stadium in Phila 1 time, the ballpark formerly known as the BOB in PHX, and now Shea which for those of you who didn't know is going to the great home run trot in the sky along with Yankee Stadium after this season. I need to try to get to Yankee stadium sometime this year. I have some people working on that for me later this summer. Stay tuned.

3. So I am sitting here with the Red Sox game on in the background. How cool...I mean kool is it that we have some young players like Jacoby Ellsbury, Clay Buchloz, Dustin Pedoria and Jonathan Papplebon. These guys are already local superstars and in Papplebons case is a bonafide national superstar. I can't remember any time when we had all this young HOMEGROWN talent playing for the Red Sox. 1975 Lynn, Rice, Evans, Fisk. Seems to be the only team that seems to come close. Lets just hope the mistakes made with those players is not repeated with this group. In Theo I trust.

4. What the hell is the Celtics problem. There is no reason for a game 7, other than the fact that they aren't taking the playoffs seriously. They should have been resting since last Wednesday. Now there is a game 7 on Sunday or Monday. Good thing we got home court throughout the playoffs, we're gonna need it.

5. We are now a little over a month into the baseball season and the biggest surprise...well I have a few. How about Detroit sucking pond water, or how about the Tampa Bay D...uh Rays, or how about Oakland and Florida being players in thier respective divisions. I know its only been a month into the season, but most everybody who watches baseball with anything more than a passing interest has to be surprised. I know I am.

6. Roger Clemens. Oh how the mighty have fallen...again. 15 years old. Seriously. Come on now. 15 years old. And to think I looked up to you. Jerk.

7. I thought it was starting to get warm. Boy was I a sucker. I broke out all my shorts and sandles. Now I am freezing my balls off again. Stupid weather.

8. What is the deal with British and Canadiens adding the u in words like color (colour?) Do they think they're better than us? Did the letter u get some pix of England and Canada in comprimising positions? What gives?

9. While in afformentioned trip to New York, I was at a Finish Line in the Poughkeepsie Mall. Just wandering around, I found a Red Sox hat for the boy that was $10 off. Then I found a Red Sox replica jersey originally priced $90 marked down to $20. I will say it is a Coco jersey. but who cares. I mean you have to buy that, right. Well I did. And I came to this conclusion: Drive to New York to buy your Red Sox gear. Good deals only 200 miles ahead.

10. I have friends from high school that I will not talk to for 6 months and pick up the phone and its like we talked yesterday. I have other friends that if you don't call them everyday and update poop cycles, it's like you shot their cat.

11. Why is it that perfectly normal people will instantly turn into retards if you stick a video camera in front of them.

12. Just got confirmation that my Dave tix have landed. Life is good.

13. I warned you all it was going to be random.

Peace
Jimi

Hating on the NHL

So suddenly I have become intrigued with the Bruins playoff run. I am absolutely an outsider looking in. I know most people have written off the NHL as the No Hope League. I am first and foremost a fan of baseball notably the Red Sox. Then the NFL and Pats. I even have been known to watch a Celtics game here and there (more so this season), but have just never ever wanted to sit down and watch a hockey game. There has been nothing here to really want to watch. Even as an outsider, I have seen the ineptitude that the Bruins have been run with. I knew that Joe Thornton was a keeper, but I digress. I guess what I am saying is that I would be proud to be a bandwagon jumper and would love to see the B's beat the Habs in a 7 game series. I may not be watching, but I will jump back and check in on the game.

A FEW LEFTOVERS

Alright I promise, after this I will drop the Chuck Norris lines. I will have them here solely for reference purposes.

92. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

93. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

94. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint

95. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

96. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks

97. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

98. CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time

99. Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris

100. The crossing lights in Chuck Norris's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.

101. Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day

102. Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

103. Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."

104. If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

105. When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it

106. Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.

107. Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

108. Chuck Norris is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down.

109. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris

110. The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

111. Chuck Norris can taste lies.

112. Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

113. The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.

114. When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy

115. Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

116. Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

117. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun

118. Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

119. There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks

120. Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.

121. For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.

Here it is...Chuck Norris in all his glory

Alright kiddos, here they are. As pirated by yours truly off many different sites, put together for the first time...The 91 best Chuck Norris lines I could find in 1 night. As usual, please feel free to comment me and tell me what a rip off I am and even better yet add to the list.

Peace

Jimi

1. Chuck Norris is the only person who can punch you in the soul.

2. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5

3. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling "Bang!"

4. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axles, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

5. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

6. Chuck Norris has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong. Jesus has missed two.

7. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

8. Chuck Norris can speak braile.

9. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

10. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

11. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

12. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f**k down.

13. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

14. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

15. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

16. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

17. Chuck Norris once fought off 42 ninjas blindfolded, while having sex with 3 women.

18. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, Chuck Norris will still be able to kick your ass.

19. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

20. Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris

21. Prostate cancer gets regularly checked for Chuck Norris.

22. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

23. When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.

24. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

25. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

26. Guns don’t kill people, Chuck Norris kills people.

27. Chuck Norris can take a number 2 standing up.

28. Chuck Norris likes to “knit sweaters” in his spare time, and by “knit” I mean “kick”, and by “sweaters” I mean “your ass”.

29. Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris' house is a Total Gym

30. Chuck Norris owns and operates his own restaurant in Lubbock, Texas. Knuckle sandwiches are the only thing on the menu.

31. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

32. Chuck Norris doesn’t have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the crap out of viruses. That’s why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

33. Chuck Norris’ calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd. Nobody fools Chuck Norris.

34. Chuck Norris is can slam a revolving door

35. Chuck Norris makes onions cry

36. Chuck Norris sends SPAM everyday to everyone in the world. Using only a casio calculator.

37. It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

38. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

39. Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn

40. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

41. Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

42. Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

43. Chuck Norris pubic hair is the main ingrediant in sos pads

44. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it’s f**king beef.

45. Chuck Norris’ dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

46. Chuck Norris only uses one chopstick.

47. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

48. On a scale of 1 to 10, Chuck Norris kicks ass.

49. Chuck Norris eats soup with a fork and knife

50. Chuck Norris can watch 60 minutes in 22 minutes

51. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer..to bad he has never cried

52. Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin’ bout

53. Chuck Norris uses Tabasco sauce for eye drops.

54. Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter

55. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg

56. What’s the last thing to go through your mind when Chuck Norris is killing you? His boot.

57. There are no signs of life on Mars because Chuck Norris got there first.

58. Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag, he potato sacks.

59. Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris

60. Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse in the face, now we call it a giraffe.

61. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

62. The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.

63. Chuck Norris challenged a statue to a staring contest. Chuck remains undefeated.

64. Chuck Norris was fishing in the Atlantic ocean on an iceberg, when a huge ship bore down on him. Chuck threw a roundhouse kick and sunk the ship. That ship was the Titanic. Jim Cameron's movie forgot to credit who really sunk the ship and now he's got a death mark upon him by Chuck.

65. Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

66. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one

67. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

68. Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds

69. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle

70. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

71. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

72. Chuck Norris plays Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins

73. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

74. Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

75. Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

76. Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

77. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

78. Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

79. Chuck Norris once finished "The Song that Never Ends"

80. The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things

81. Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye

82. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

83. Every time you masterbate, Chuck Norris punches a Mexican baby in the face

84. When Chuck Norris breaks wind, it stays broken.

85. When an episode of “Walker, Texas Ranger” aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

86. Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card

87. Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

88. Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.

89. Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius

90. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

91. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink

Just a little heads up...

I am working on something extra special for all 6 of you reading. And by 6 I mean Mom logging on 6 times to check out this darn interneter thing.

Peace,

Jimi

Whats the big deal?

So I admit it. Whenever there seems to be some new social phenomenon, I always seem to be about a week, month, year behind. My Space was almost out when I finally got in. It seems now that I've decided to finally write a blog, I find out that a high percentage of my friends that I had no idea did write blogs in fact do write blogs. I don't mind being behind the times. So where I'm going with this is that this morning I was looking at my Facebook account and decided that I don't get it. It seems very complicated and hard to function. Maybe it's not, but it sure seems so.

So I have come to realize that I'm getting old. I know that I'm probably making a mountain out of a mole hill, but man I feel it. I had a conversation yesterday with a couple of my friends around my age and our conversation was about our gray hair. I found a gray hair in my goatee about 2 months ago and I kinda laughed it off. Well now they have crept into my sideburns and suddenly its becoming real that I'm getting older.

The weird thing is that I'm an adult, I have a child of my own, but I still consider myself the same way as when I was almost 20. Well kind of. I can now go to the store and buy beer whenever I want without worry that someone is going too look closely at my id. I wonder if there is a point in life where you fully accept that you are no longer a child and completely an adult. Well I hope that never happens to me, although turning 30 seems to be a bigger milestone than I expected or had hoped personally that it would be. Gone now are the nights staying up until day light and sleeping until dark. As my friend Mikey would say, I have Old Balls.

I suppose with age comes greater responsibility. I have decided that the next great goal in life for me is to buy a house. So I have put my energy to starting a savings plan to get some cash for a down payment. Hopefully I will be able to find something in my price range that is not somewhere north of the Notch.

Well for now, this is a receding hairlined, starting to go gray haired, technologicly impotent, father of a son who knows more about my computer than I do, signing off.

Peace,

Jimi

The abuse of capitalism

I was going for a ride with a friend of mine last night and we were talking about fuel efficent cars. I of course started talking about my beloved volkswagen and how the new clean diesel with 50 state safe emissions will be coming out this summer. Then I saw the price of diesel and it made me think. Why the hell is diesel over $4.00 a gallon?

For those of you who don't know, diesel is a less refined fuel than gasoline. This in turn should make it cost less, no? Well it used to be that way. Diesel was usually at least 10-20 cents less a gallon than gas. For whatever reason now diesel is a full dollar more than gasoline.

This effects everything in our lives more than you could imagine. Every time we go to the mall to buy a cd, or a new hat or go grocery shopping, or buy gas for that matter, we are purchasing items delivered by a truck that runs on diesel. Wonder why milk is now almost $5.00 a gallon?

I have a friend who owns his own truck and in turn has to pay for his own fuel. He was telling me that 4 years ago his fuel bill in a month is now what it is in a week. Can you imagine that? Your costs go up 400%, but your salary pretty much stays the same.

I guess that this takes me to the rant in the title. How is it that the oil companies are getting away with charging us absurd prices for fuel and gas all the while reporting record profits. I think that I want to throw up a little in my mouth whenever I fill up my car. Just last night I decided to fill up my VW. Mind you I had 3/8 of a tank when I pulled into the gas station. $31 dollars later I was filled to the top. And that was in the Jetta. The Passat to fill is over $50. I know I am writing something that everybody else has to deal with also, but I mean come on, really, when will this stop? $5.00, $6.00, $10.00 for a gallon of gas? We seem to be facing a national economic slowdown and how much of it is related to the fact that everything is now more expensive because some fat cat at Mobil is getting fatter. That, my friends, is the abuse of capitalism.

Well now that I got that off my chest,

Peace
Jimi

Some random thoughts. Don't worry. I'm sure all of the future thoughts will be random also.

So here it is. My introduction to the world of blogging. I suppose it is mandatory for everybody to have an introduction blog. The one that says to the world "This is what I have to say!" I plan to have some interesting little tid bits. Things I find humorous throughout the days and weeks of my life. Wait...am I reading this from a script somewhere? I am not sure where this ride is going to take me, so I guess we'll have to wait and see. Until the morrow, this is J Bell signing off (sound of national anthem and black and white flag blowing...static)